sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
