It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
