are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize