This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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