i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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