I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
This girl is more easily done than said...
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
