If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize