My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Randomize
