He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
