We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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