I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
