so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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