i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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