sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I party with great urgency now.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
