i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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