very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
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