Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
