would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I have fence marks all over my body
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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