Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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