I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
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