he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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