Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Everyone says I win the strip club
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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