im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
