I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
