I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
