Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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