I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
