We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize