i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
