What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
