i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
please come you make the beer taste better
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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