): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
