drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
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