i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Randomize