I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
