I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
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