I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
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