once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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