she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
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