Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
