Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
