What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
