why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
