Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
