hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize