i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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