In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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