Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
