Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
