ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
