it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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