why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
