Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
should my penis look like a turkey
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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