found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
