I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
