oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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