According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
