Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize