he wants to bone in the snuggie
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
