I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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