I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize