I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
