mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
