Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
