I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
