I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
