Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
