dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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