I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
