fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
my poor anus
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
