His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
