my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
This is my gift to your gina
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
