did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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