TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I'm both gender and math confused
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
