I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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