Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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