i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
